ME RIGHT NOW.
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ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk
Oh? Would you elaborate?
okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying “hewwo” so since then I started saying “hewwo” instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely “hewwo”like with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwo’s a day
but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking “HEWWO??” echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me
I actually got in huge trouble with my fiance’s sister for that. One night, I heard Fish meowing and it kinda sounded like she was saying “hello” so I decided to encourage it. If no one was going to try to get the cat to stop screaming at 3am, I wanted to try to get her to scream words so everyone would be as disturbed about it as I was. For the better part of three years, I used treats to reward her whenever she “spoke” while not letting anyone else know I was trying to teach her stuff.
One day, my fiance’s sister goes to give Fish a treat and the cat whiffs it. Misses the treat completely and it bounces under the fridge, so she’s trying to stick her paw under to get it back.
“Oh no, Fish. You lost your snack!”
“I know I know.”
Instant chaos. It wasn’t even Fish’s best words. If she had only said it once, maybe no would have noticed, but the repetition got attention and everyone just lost it. I made the mistake of praising Fish and suddenly I have the sister turn on me. “Are you why she says ‘oh no’ all the time?” Apparently Fish rarely “meows” properly anymore and will say “Oh no” whenever she’s mildly inconvenienced and wants a human to fix it for her.
Teachers should let kids eat and drink in class, I have no idea why high school teachers act like tiny dictators of their pathetic kingdoms. Like, let them go to the bathroom, if they are hungry let them eat, if they are thirsty let them drink.
It shouldn’t really be so difficult.
Anyway, children are people, so maybe stop adding onto this post trying to justify why it is ok to treat them and train like animals in a 1920’s zoo.
Straight Parents: We just want to decide when our kids are introduced to the idea of relationships!
Also Straight Parents: (watch a one year old baby boy playing with blocks with a one year old baby girl) HAHAHA he is already such a ladykiller
I just learned that there’s a man who shops at trader joes in Seattle and buys things in bulk and then transports them up to Vancouver to his own store called “pirate joes” because there are no trader joes in Canada. He’s gotten banned at some trader joes because of this and sometimes has to put on disguises to shop and he even hires people to go shopping for him and it’s like a secret mission. He even has a van that says “grocers without borders” and trader joes has sued him and lost. My favorite part of this is that this whole situation could be easily fixed by trader joes opening a store in Vancouver and hiring him
the best part is that after they got sued he removed the “p” from the sign in his shop window so now it says “irate joe’s”, because they’re mad at him.